Tappy Toes

From Wikipedia: Mockbuster: (n) a film created with the apparent intention of piggy-backing on the publicity of a major film with a similar title or theme and are often made with a low budget.

This... is a mockbuster.

It's a children's movie designed to capitalize off the success of Warner Bros. "Happy Feet". While that movie was a showcase for CGI technology, THIS movie is low budget animation. Think less Pixar and more South Park.

But, I would be doing this movie a disservice if I reviewed it alone, after all, I am a jaded, sleep deprived adult, scarred by an uncaring and cruel world, with a heart as black as night itself.

Clearly, I'm not the target audience.

If only there was a small child nearby that could help me review this. Oh, wait. There is! Say hello, ladies and gentlemen, to my infant son, and guest reviewer, Sam!

Sam: Hey, everyone! Glad to be here to pick up Daddy's slack and do his job for him. Tonight, we watched "Tappy Toes". It's a cartoon about a penguin named Pingo (that's Bingo with a "puh"). Daddy made me watch this tonight, even though I was tired after having my bottle.

Me: Sam, I didn't MAKE you watch anything. You liked the colors and the movement.

Sam: Whatever, dude. You kept waking me up by shaking me. Yeah, you shook a baby. How do you sleep at night, you monster?

Me: First, I don't shake you. Second, I don't sleep. You keep waking me up. But, let's focus. The movie?

Sam: Oh, yeah. So, Bingo with a "puh" is taken away from home as an egg by two birds that want to eat him. Eventually, the birds grow to love him and decide to raise him with them as his uncles. But, they can fly and he can't and it's so depressing and there's a sea lion after the three of them who's taking orders from a crab and now I've gone and soiled myself.

Me: (sigh) OK, kid. Feel better?

Sam: Much. Anyway, Pingo stumbles upon a pair of tap shoes from a lost steamer trunk the birds have. From that, he learns he can tap dance and the noise from it scares away the mean old sea lions. Then, he reunites with his real mommy and daddy and everyone lives happily ever after. It's actually a pretty clever movie, for a mockbuster. It has some funny bits and some snappy dialog. The best part was a funny section about irony between the sea lion and the crab. You can even learn a thing or two from this movie! For instance, did you know that penguins can't fly, Daddy?

Me: Yes, son, I did. Did you know that a pingo is also a mound of earth-covered ice found in the Artic?

Sam: Oh, look at Mr. Smarty Pants over here! A regular Bill Nye, this one. Nobody likes a showoff, pal. Way to go, showing up a 4 month old!

Me: This is not turning out like I expected.

Sam: What, this review or your life?

Me: Wow, what's with all the hostility, little man?

Sam: I'm sorry, I get all cranky when I wake up in the middle of the night.

Me: You and me both, son. Let's wrap this up and go to bed, OK?

Sam: OK, as mockbusters go, this one's not that bad. It's entertaining for a 4 month old and there are worse things you could do with 40 minutes.

Me: Like what?

Sam: Oh, I don't know. Stew in your own filth while your father writes a blog?

Me: Message received, son.


Jon's rating: 4 out of 5 beer ounces