Death Race 2000

As the first film of the blog, I pull out a real gem from the archives. No, this is not the Jason Statham movie from 2008. (They wisely dropped the "2000" part of the title for that one) And, it's not the straight to DVD sequel/prequel.(They wisely dropped the "000" part of the title for that one).

No, this is the grandaddy of those two and the video game "Carmageddon". It's also, arguably, the precursor to "Grand Theft Auto".

On paper, this movie has got a lot going for it. It's from Roger Corman, the B-movie king. It stars "Mr. Kung Fu and autoerotic asphyxiation" himself, David Carradine (in head to toe pleather, no less!) Throw in a dash of pre-Rocky, post-porn Sylvester Stallone. Set it in "the year 2000", which actually means, "1975-ish 2000" complete with disco hair, matte painting backgrounds and more female exposed flesh than a truck stop arcade. Season with a generous portion of creepy/hilariously over the top (another awesome Stallone flick, find them all!) host "Junior":

1975: smarmy game show host. 2012: smarmy pedophile

Plus, it's got the status of "Cult Classic", so it must be so bad, it's good, right?

Kind of. I mean, it's fun if it's 3AM, you've had about 4 hours of sleep and think to yourself, "Hey, Death Race 2000 sounds like a good idea!". Also, drugs or booze would probably help.

The idea behind the movie is that some sort of catastrophe strikes the world in the late '70's, gets blamed on the French and now the U.S is ruled by Mr. President; a seemingly benevolent authority figure. As any genre savvy, new Willenium reader should know is really just a front to control the hearts and minds of the masses. And how do they control said body parts? Why with the titular race of course! (which, in a brilliant bit of double speak, is not called "Death Race" but "The Transcontinental Road Race")

This movie actually forecast the rise of reality TV by about 20 years. You see, the race is televised to the masses and everyone watches. Five racers are driven (!) to victory (!) by cannonball(!)ing from New York to New L.A., all the while trying to earn points by running down pedestrians. Yep, you read that right. You score points for committing vehicular homicide, broken down by age group. Old people score the most, followed by children 0-12. Women are worth 10 points extra, since... women... suck? I guess. No real reason given for that. The old and the children I can understand (in a sick sort of way); the old are a drain on resources and, therefore, expendables (!) and children make good TV.

Also, I guess not everyone is watching the race and are complete idiots since the first blood (!) of the race goes to Sly's character ("Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo) in the form of road construction workers. Working on the roads. During race day. Where the primary task is to KILL PEOPLE ON THE ROADS!

But, logic and common sense are not why we're here. After all, this is a movie featuring a hot-headed Italian racer, a western themed racer (Calamity Jane), a roman themed racer (Nero the Hero), and a freakin' NAZI racer (Matilda the Hun, no less!). The star is, of course, David "Bill" Carradine as "Frankenstein", the most famous of the racers, a national hero, drives a car that looks like a bad-ass cobra (!), and apparently cybernetic, having lost most of his body during previous races. Not that you would know by looking at him.

Part Man. Part Machine. Mostly Pleather.

Granted, that might just be in-universe hype on the part of the government. Or the film is super cheap and couldn't afford the look of cybernetics. So, they made them human looking. Whichever.

There's also a plot about rebels lashing out against the government for holding back freedom and undertones of the American people being easily led sheep and things that, today, are common in every work of dystopian sci-fi. But, it did come out in 1975, so it might have been revolutionary for it's time.  

All in all, the film is not terrible. It's great, if you want some mind numbing fun for a little over an hour. It's schlocky, hammy (especially Sly!), a little heavy handed, and oh-so-'70's. Take it for a spin, if you've got an hour to kill.

Sam's score: 3 of 5 formula ounces.